Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Winter Olympic Fever

Hello everybody! It’s your intrepid reporter, Oliver here, bringing you the latest and greatest from the Pacific Northwest. Now my personal preference throughout the Olympics is to bring you those heartwarming stories that bring you that warm and fuzzy feeling inside, like the Daily Deal at, but, being that I’m charged with bringing you the absolute truth and nothing but; I must report on all things Olympic.

Which brings us to the story of speed skater, Sven Kramer of The Netherlands. Sven skated his buns off best effort for 25 laps in the 10,000 meter long track speed skating event and set an Olympic record by finishing in 12 minutes 54.50 seconds. He was friggin mad mildly surprised when he realized that his dim-witted beloved coach, Gerard Kemkers royally screwed up made a minor mistake and told Sven to make an illegal lane change which disqualified him and cost him the gold medal! Now, in America, when you make an illegal lane change, you get some angry looks and maybe a honk or two from an irate driver, but it doesn’t cost you a gold medal. As for Sven, all I can say is I feel for ya, Sven!

This story makes me think of how hard it is to win a gold medal in the Olympics. However, I do know of something that is simple to win, and that’s a Cabbage Patch Doll from OrangeOnions! They give away one every week. Find out how you can win!

Well, I am off to my next event, I’m not sure what it will be, but I think it will involve ice or snow in some way!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Oliver Reporting Live from Vancouver

Well by now the Olympics are in full swing and for the most part, they’ve been highly entertaining. Other than the fact that the organizers forgot that the Winter Olympics are supposed to be played in Winter conditions with REAL SNOW, the organizers have done a great job in bringing us quality competition. Don’t get me wrong, I also would have expected Vancouver to have some snow this time of year, but maybe next time they ought to hold the Winter Games in Bemidji, Minnesota so they don’t have to truck in oodles and oodles of snow. Even without real snow, it has been plenty cold in Vancouver. It’s a good thing I knitted myself a hat, scarf, and gloves on the plane ride here with the Winter Knits Kit. Without my knits, I would probably be for sale in your grocer’s freezer.

There have been many “feel good’ stories so far and those always warm your heart. Take for example the Chinese couple Zhao Hongbo and Shen Zue (names have been changed to protect privacy. Their real names are Harvey and Phyllis Goldstein), who took home the gold medal in the pairs figure skating final. At 36 and 31, they have been skating together for 18 years and finally toppled the Russians off the podium who had won gold in this competition every Olympiad since 1960! Then there’s the story of Alexandre Bilodeau who became the first Canadian to win an Olympic Gold Medal on home ground when he finished first in the Men's Moguls, prompting people across the world to ask, “What the hey is a Mogul?”

Frankly, I have no idea what a mogul is, but I love the word, don’t you? Well for my dear and devoted readers, I have done some online research, and after many minutes of hunkering down in my Vancouver office, I uncovered the following:
  • Project Mogul was a top secret project by the US Army Air Forces involving high altitude balloons, whose primary purpose was long-distance detection of sound waves generated by Soviet atomic bomb tests and ballistic missiles
  • HTC Mogul is a high tech gadget for Windows Mobile 6.0/6.1 PDA and if you’re like me, you have no idea what it is.
  • MOGUL framework is a processing-based research framework for investigating languages in the mind. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Me too. Huh? The only frames that come to my mind are photo frames.
  • Federal-Mogul is a major automotive parts supplier based in Southfield, Michigan.
Yes folks, there are many a mogul, but we’re referring to Mogul Skiing, a type of freestyle skiing where skiers try to pass different bumps or, yes you got it, moguls! So I hope you’re thoroughly educated and remember; next time you’re at a cocktail dinner, try throwing the word Mogul around and watch how impressed your friends will be at your improved vocabulary! That’s all for today folks! Until next time, Au revoir from Vancouver!

Monday, February 15, 2010

My Free iPhone App Download

Greetings from Vancouver, my fellow Onioniods! What excitement to be in the center of the Winter Olympic action! I had my notes all ready to share with you on the weekend’s events, but as I was cheering on the USA in Snowboarding, I spilled my orange juice all over them! While I am here, I had better give my Black & Decker Fruit & Vegetable Juice Extractor a break so this doesn’t happen again. I will get them cleaned up here in the next few days and summarize the events.

Anyway, in my hurry to get to Vancouver, I almost forgot to share the news…. My friends and I have released a Free iPhone Game Application! It’s a great game to test your quickness, and you can see the adorable cartoon version of me. Not only is it a free download, but by playing it, you can also win a free OrangeOnions gift card! All you have to do is submit your high score and you will automatically be entered into the drawing. You can also get on my High Scoreboard, which shows the Top Ten scores of all time. See all the details on the Free iPhone App Page of the Web site. If you want to download the application, head to the iTunes Store to get it today.

Well, that’s all for now, I will be back to give you a summary of all I have seen and done in the first few days of the Olympics. Go USA!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Live from Vancouver!

Well the networks are abuzz with the Winter Olympics and I am pleased to announce that I will be a live correspondent from the games. That’s right, I will be bringing you all the latest updates from Vancouver, Canada. Since I cannot be at every event, I will be trusting the local radio stations to provide some news via my trusty Innovage FM Scan Radio Writing Pen & Headphones.

Although this is my first Olympic games as a correspondent, I promise to bring you coverage of the highest quality. In fact here is my mission statement as I embark on this noble mission:


Whereas, I, Oliver the Orange Onion have been charged with the monumental task of providing my adoring fans with comprehensive Olympic coverage, it is my pledge to use the power of public broadcast to engage the minds and enrich the lives of my readers by broadcasting the core Olympic schedule; acquiring, producing and broadcasting programs that best serve our viewers using the best technology available 24 hours a day; providing educational and informative programs and services, while sharing the full Olympic experience and all the while examining critical issues of importance to Olympic fans everywhere, thereby providing related activities, resources, and materials that go beyond simple Olympic broadcasting and serving our community through a variety of supplemental content and services and at the same time guaranteeing responsive customer service to our fans’ questions and concerns, effectively allowing our viewers, affiliates, friends, colleagues, comrades, companies and foundations an opportunity to give back to the Olympic community through their support of our broadcasts blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, by now anybody who was reading this mission statement has fallen asleep and so we will end it now. Enjoy the Olympics!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Welcome to My Adventure!

I am excited to tell you all about my incredible adventures being the face of For those of you who don't know, is a discount online retailer of gifts, home goods, toys, crafts, seasonal items, and so much more. I am the luckiest Orange Onion to travel the world and spread the word about the company's low prices on brand name products.

But enough about them, let's talk about me. My life story is filled with challenges and triumphs starting from the moment I was a seed. I was a tiny little sprout that almost didn’t get harvested. After years of struggling to make a name for myself, I have turned my bruised past into sweet layers of success. Read my complete biography here.

My first big assignment this year is heading to the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, British Columbia. Having never been to an Olympics before, I am peeling with anticipation to what it will bring. However, I know what I will bring... this rolling snow shovel will come in handy clearing a path when I head to each snowy event. Talk to you soon, eh?