Saturday, February 13, 2010

Live from Vancouver!

Well the networks are abuzz with the Winter Olympics and I am pleased to announce that I will be a live correspondent from the games. That’s right, I will be bringing you all the latest updates from Vancouver, Canada. Since I cannot be at every event, I will be trusting the local radio stations to provide some news via my trusty Innovage FM Scan Radio Writing Pen & Headphones.

Although this is my first Olympic games as a correspondent, I promise to bring you coverage of the highest quality. In fact here is my mission statement as I embark on this noble mission:

MISSION STATEMENT:

Whereas, I, Oliver the Orange Onion have been charged with the monumental task of providing my adoring fans with comprehensive Olympic coverage, it is my pledge to use the power of public broadcast to engage the minds and enrich the lives of my readers by broadcasting the core Olympic schedule; acquiring, producing and broadcasting programs that best serve our viewers using the best technology available 24 hours a day; providing educational and informative programs and services, while sharing the full Olympic experience and all the while examining critical issues of importance to Olympic fans everywhere, thereby providing related activities, resources, and materials that go beyond simple Olympic broadcasting and serving our community through a variety of supplemental content and services and at the same time guaranteeing responsive customer service to our fans’ questions and concerns, effectively allowing our viewers, affiliates, friends, colleagues, comrades, companies and foundations an opportunity to give back to the Olympic community through their support of our broadcasts blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, by now anybody who was reading this mission statement has fallen asleep and so we will end it now. Enjoy the Olympics!

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