Friday, June 25, 2010

Good Vs. Evel? It's a No Brainer...

Hellooooo Oranges and Onions!

It is I, Oliver, and I want to talk to you about one of the most interesting and colorful personalities in recent American history. I'm talking, of course, about Al Gore. I'm sorry folks, that was a typo! I'm referring to the legendary Evel Knievel!

In the 60's and 70's, Evel Knievel became world famous as the first (and only) man with the name "Evel." In addition, he became famous for amazing stunts performed on his motorcycle. He jumped over cars, trucks, buses, you name it, he jumped over it on his bike. His popularity soared greatly because of his many accidents and it is estimated Evel broke approximately 42,573 bones over the course of his career. As a result of all those broken bones, by the time Evel turned 60 he looked like a cross between Shrek and Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Why am I telling you this, you ask? Because frankly, Evel could have spared himself a WHOLE lot of trouble and countless body parts had he just visited the OrangeOnions online discount store and jumped around in the Backyard Barnyard Jumper instead of attempting to jump the Grand Canyon. Or the Fisher Price Mega, Sesame Street or Banzai Inflatable Bouncer for that matter! Any of these would have been a FAR safer alternative and a LOT less costly!! Best of all, Evel would have gotten FREE SHIPPING! Oh well. He probably didn't think of it with all those bumps to the head...

Until next time, your favorite historian and aspiring daredevil,

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