Monday, August 30, 2010

Surprise! Your Wallet Just Got Heavier!

Surprise everybody! Don't you love to hear that word?! Everybody loves a good surprise. Well, I should qualify that statement- everybody loves to be on the RECEIVING end of a good surprise. Then there are those dedicated individuals who seem to make it their life mission to pull surprises on their friends and families and everyone in between. Like my Dad for example. He made such a habit out of surprising Mom on her birthday that one year she actually set the table for her own surprise party, knowing full well that Dad would come in the door with a cake in his hand! Either way, surprises can be fun.

Then there are those surprises that are not quite as fun; such as discovering that the "mud" all over the bottom of your shoe is in fact, not "mud" at all. Or, when you run out the door to go pick up your kids' carpool, only to discover that you locked your keys in the car. Those kinds of surprises we can live without.

At OrangeOnions, they don't like bad surprises either... so you'll NEVER have to worry about buying a toy for $9.99 and discovering that you were charged $49.99 for shipping and handling. You can relax and breathe easier while bargain shopping knowing that the MOST you'll pay on shipping is $6.99. PLUS, when you order over $89, your shipping is absolutely FREE! How's THAT for a nice surprise!? I don't know about you, but saving money is one of my favorite kinds of surprises. Sure beats the just-returned-from-vacation-and-discovered-your-basement-is-full-of-water kind of surprise, doesn't it??? I thought so.

Until next time,
Sir Surprise-A-Lot

Friday, August 20, 2010

The "Orange Days" of Summer? Hmmm...

Hello Everybody!

Well, here we are in the dog days of summer, when we start to realize that maybe winter isn't so bad after all. Come to think of it, ever wonder why it's called the "dog days?" What is THAT supposed to mean? Are dogs the only hot ones around here? When I was growing up in Cleveland, OH I used to hear the term "dog days" in reference to the long days of summer when my beloved Cleveland Indians were plodding along, 400 games out of first place. It never dawned on me to question the term.

Now that I'm older, wiser, (and have access to this wonderful new invention called the internet), I decided to do some research. Well, I found the answer, but frankly its not that exciting. It has something to do with the ancient Greek constellation system, a Greek writer named Plutarch (what were his parents THINKING?!) and a mythical dog named Kyon. Either way, the days between early July and early September are known as the "dog days of summer" until this day.

My favorite online discount store has their own definition of "dog days." It's a great time to drop by and treat your cuddly canine to something special from their Pet Supplies. Fido and Fifi can get cozy and comfy in a luxurious Brainstorm Bed or Blanket or just kick back and relax in any one of the plush chairs by Bucchi. And if you get really adventurous and you're taking your dog with you on your weekend getaway, make sure you pack along the newest Sleeping Bag for Dogs! Whatever the season, every day is a "dog day" at OrangeOnions!

Signing off until next time,
Oliver "glad my name isn't Plutarch" the Orange Onion

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Of Backpacks and Backaches...

Hello Everybody!

It's me, Oliver, and if you recall, recently I talked to you about school supplies and what a burden they can be. Today, I'd like to talk to you about a different KIND of burden. A physical one, actually. I'm talking about the incredible amount of weight that our kids put into their backpacks these days. Why on Earth do some children feel it necessary to load their backpacks with everything but the kitchen sink? If I didn't know otherwise, I would swear my 9 year old comes home from school looking like he just spent a week hiking in the Himalayas. I try to tell him that his math books will not self destruct if he left them in his locker overnight but to no avail. He insists, (and apparently most of his classmates do this too), on bringing home every day, 3-4 textbooks, 2 notebooks, his leftover lunch, baseball glove, 4 Snickers bars, and 5-6 Watermelon-size ROCKS ("really cool ones!") that he found in the school yard. I have no idea HOW they survive the walk from the bus to the house but somehow they do.

As my pleas have fallen on deaf ears, I've decided to live by the credo- "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" and so I look for the most durable backpacks on the market; backpacks that can withstand the rigors of my children's payload. That's why I go to my favorite discount store where you'll find the most incredible selection of quality school backpacks and rolling backpacks on the web. Plus, with options such as Batman, Elmo, Spiderman, Hello Kitty, Disnes Princess and Tinkerbell, there is a bookbag for every child. Stop by today and see why OrangeOnions is the number one place to go for school backpacks!

Surgeon General's Warning: Carrying more than 800 lbs in a backpack can cause minor discomfort.

Until next time,
Overloaded Oliver

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Now THAT is something you hear kids say ALL the time, right? Don't your kids just LOVE homework?? Of course they do! IF they're aliens from planet Zenon. Here on Earth, however, kids enjoy homework about as much as they enjoy getting their cavities filled. After spending a long day at school, the average kid will probably not be TOO thrilled to do 40 math problems and write a report on the 18 species of apes found in Ecuador. But that is exactly what they do. And parents dread the daily battles; pleading, begging and cajoling their little ones to do their homework. In fact, this is why many parents give up the struggle and do the homework themselves. This explains why many kids who would have a tough time tying their own shoes come in with science projects that look like they can be on display at the Smithsonian. That's because the only part of the project done by little Bobby was the part where he scrawled his name on the back of it.

Well, OrangeOnions has many solutions to cure the homework blues. For starters, check out the selection of Disney Children's desks. Priced at under $50.00, these adorable desks will make your child RUN to do homework. Ok, maybe not run, but it will make it tolerable! And don't stop there. They have nearly 250 Back to School deals, which equals 250 ways to make homework that much easier. Plus, with the Back to School Sale, you'll save more money in the process. So stop by today! Happy discount shopping!

Oh, and you, Bobby's mom; the Nobel society called to tell you that they have rejected your Volcano as a possible Nobel prize winner in the "Great Advances in Chemistry" category.

Your Homework Hero,