Thursday, November 18, 2010

Christmas Trees… (Tree included)

Hey there! Surprise, surprise. It's me again, Oliver! One of my favorite lines from comedian Steven Wright is this one: "I bought a package of batteries... They weren't included". When you really think about it though, NOTHING will dampen that Christmas cheer quite like tearing open those delightful gifts only to realize that the Super Double Duper X250, nuclear powered, geo thermal, laser guided water gun that your Aunt Charlotte spent her life savings on, didn't come with batteries! Folks, this should be illegal.

Thankfully, this never actually happened to ME at Christmas time (because I don't HAVE an Aunt Charlotte) but if it did, I can assure you, I would have cried my eyeballs out from Christmas until New Years. So I beg of you! For the sake of children everywhere! Call your local congressman and push for legislation to force companies to INCLUDE batteries in their products! Ok, maybe we don't have to go THAT far (not to mention, your local politician is busy worrying about more important things, such as getting re-elected in two years), but I do have good news for you....

OrangeOnions has plenty of items that actually COME WITH BATTERIES! How do you like THAT? Specifically, I want to tell you about the rotating, musical plush Christmas Tree by Gund! Sure to become an instant classic, this beautiful collectible will put the perfect finishing touches on your Christmas decor. AND, considering the fact that it’s only $14.99, (and batteries ARE included), this deal won’t last long! In fact, you may want to keep an eye on Santa when he drops in. He may be tempted to swipe it for his own mantle back home. So stop by my favorite online discount store today and get in the Christmas spirit!

P.S. Not to belabor the point; but just think how Santa, as a young boy, would have felt if he opened up his brand new sleigh and the little sticker read “Reindeer NOT included”. I can cry just thinking about it.

Until next time folks,
Oliver Claus (Onions included)

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