Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Lather. Rinse. Repeat? Duh!

Hi Everyone! It’s me, Oliver. If you’re like me you probably get a kick out of reading the handy instructions that you find on everyday products such as shampoo (Lather, rinse, repeat). THANK YOU Head and Shoulders for THAT important and most USEFUL tip! Had I NOT seen those instructions, I might have thought I was supposed to add the shampoo to my Campbell’s Chunky Noodle Soup and wait for my hair to become instantly fuller and thicker with a healthier shine!

Seriously, though, I shouldn’t be so cynical. After all, there are many things in life which don’t come with instructions, but SHOULD! Take the story of Paul and Bonnie Stiller who made headlines way back in 1996 when they tried to light a stick of dynamite and toss it out of their car window at 2:00 a.m. while driving around Andover Township, NJ. The problem was they had forgotten to roll down the window beforehand and sustained major injuries when the stick blew up in Paul’s hands. (True story). I submit to you that this NEVER would have happened and could have been COMPLETELY AVOIDED had the car manufacturer just posted some important safety tips on the car windows. Such as:

  1. To roll down window, push button in the downward position.
  2. Do not attempt to ignite dynamite while driving.
  3. Dynamite that blows up in your hand may cause injury.
  4. If you MUST throw dynamite out the window, ensure that window is rolled DOWN.

My point is, people are different and what may seem simple to some people are not so simple to others. So, without insulting anyone’s intelligence, I’d like to offer my step-by-step instructions for "How to save on all your holiday gifts":

  1. Go to OrangeOnions and click on the tab that says "Occasions and Seasonal".
  2. Click on the word "Christmas".
  3. On the left side of the screen you will see the words "Black Friday Deals". Click it. (Or you could skip all the above steps and just click this: Black Friday Deals)
  4. Presto! See what cames up???

Now, THAT wasn’t too hard, was it? Once you follow those simple instructions, you’ll find over 70 items to choose from - all 50%-90% off! You can give more gifts than Santa, so don’t wait! Shop the hottest Black Friday Sale before all the deals are gone!

P.S. helpful instructional tip: Your computer must be plugged in or have a battery for it to work.

That’s all folks! Until next time,
Oliver

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