About Oliver, the Orange Onion

The Early Years
Oliver The Orange Onion was born February 8, 1971 in Naples, Florida. The smallest of 5 Orange Onions born to Oscar and Olivia, Oliver weighed a mere 3 ounces at harvest. Growers didn't think he'd make it and Oliver spent 8 weeks in a vegetable bin to ripen and grow to a healthy size.


The Elementary Years
In his youth, Oliver often found himself the target of bullying in school, but he quickly learned to fend for himself. (WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES MAY BE GRAPHIC IN NATURE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED). One day as Oliver was dismissed from Mrs. Citrus's class (Orange Peels vs. Onion Peels 101), Oliver was attacked with a 7 inch kitchen knife! Oliver stood his ground and lo and behold, the assailant began to weep! Oliver was stabbed repeatedly, but alas, the attacker began to cry uncontrollably, tears streaming down the attacker's face. It was then that Oliver realized he had a secret weapon: his sharpness! (WE NOW REVERT TO SUITABLE READING FOR ALL AGES).


The College Years
Oliver proved to be an exceptional student, graduating high school with a GPA of $3.99 lb. and receiving a full scholarship to Syracuse. He was also a promising pitcher for the Orange, but sadly his athletic career came to a crashing halt amid allegations that he had been juicing the ball. Oliver thought about entering the Navel Academy, but opted to stay in school, pursuing a masters in Agricultural Marketing.


Today
Rapidly rising up the food chain; in May 2007, Oliver signed on as the chief spokesperson and mascot for OrangeOnions.com. In his mind, he is the main reason behind the company's unparalleled success.